As some of you may (or may not) know, one of my personalities works at a preschool with sixteen 4- to 5-year-old pre-K students. There's a lot of the typical preschool chit chat and banter mixed in with lessons, stories and music time. But once in a while, someone comes up with something that makes you wish you had a pen tucked behind your ear. These are some of my pen moments from this year so far. Enjoy.
Girl: "Teacher, we're out of green paint."
Me: "Well, do you know what you'll get if you mix yellow paint with blue paint?"
Me: "Can anyone tell me a word that starts with C?"
Various kids: "Cat! Cookie! Crayon! Car!...Crap!"
Me: "Well, let's not say THAT word, okay?"
Boy: "Why? Does it start with a K?"
Boy 1: "That girl's my girlfriend."
Boy 2: "Girls are gross."
Boy 1: "I know, but she brings good snacks to lunch bunch!"
Boy 1: Teacher, X is eating one of Y's pretzel sticks.
Me: "Everyone eat their own snacks, not someone else's."
Boy 2 (chewing): "But he gave it to me."
Boy 3: "Teacher, he can have it. I was up my nose."
Teacher: "Today's letter is Q. And when you write Q, it's always next to another letter. Who knows what letter that is?"
Boy 1: "R!"
Teacher: "No, I'm talking about what letter you always see written down next to Q."
Boy 2: "P!"
Teacher: "Well, in words, it's the letter U."
Boy 1 to Boy 2: "She really doesn't know the alphabet? It's right on the wall! PQR!"
Me to boy holding himself: "Honey, do you have to go potty?"
Boy: "No, sometimes my wiener just sticks to my pants."
After telling a boy to be still several times, boy says to teacher:
"You really have a tough job, don't you?"
Woman 1: He's such a nice boy. Do you watch your grandson every day?
Woman 2: I'm his mother.
Mom 1: I don't know how you manage with a kindergartner, a 3-year-old AND being pregnant!
Mom 2: I'm NOT pregnant.
4-yr-old Girl: "I like hugging you hello, Miss Suzanne."
Me: "Well that's sweet. I like hugging you hello too."
Girl: "You're just so squishy!"
If Only I Could Smack Parents Moment
Mom: "Say goodbye to Miss Suzanne."
3-yr-old: "Goodbye butthole face."
Mom: "Oh...you know how kids are!"
Me (in my head): "I know how YOUR kids are."
Me: "You just picked that out of your nose. Do NOT eat it!"
Boy: "Why, do you want it?"