I love my kids. I love my kids. There. I said it twice, so you know that it's true and that I'm a good person and loving mother despite what I'm about to write. I'm starting to seriously pine for some of the things that existed in the world during the B.C. era. Not Before Christ. Before Children. Things I enjoyed somewhat regularly that are now either just a memory or merely an occasional treat. Let me elaborate.
Non-animated, R-rated movies. Movies that don't involve super heroes, robots, or chimps in outer space. We're talking movies with dirty words, healthy doses of nudity, or the occasional axe-wielding lunatic with mother issues. I hear they still make these. I recently snuck off to a movie all by myself and saw I Love You, Man. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I not sure if I enjoyed it so much because it was a great movie, or because I didn't have to leave in the middle to take someone to the potty. I love my kids.
Happy Hour. That golden time between 4-6 p.m. when wings come 10 for a dollar and drinks come for a song. Now days, Happy Hour is from 10-11 p.m. when I do the ironing while drinking a beer and watching the early news. I love my kids.
A clean house. There was once a time when I could clean the house, leave, and come back to a house that was still clean. Now I usually do have a clean house--about once a month. For an hour. Then it starts creeping back in...socks between the sofa cushions...broken crayons...wrappers...goddamn Legos everywhere. A pox upon you, Ole Kirk Christiansen of Denmark, for inventing those foot bruising vacuum destroyers! I love my kids.
Naps. Laying down, alone or with the one you love, on a lazy Sunday afternoon and catching an hour or two's kip. If it's lightly raining outside, all the better. Only having a migraine will excuse a nap now. I think I feel one coming on. I love my kids.
Long car rides to nowhere. Just getting in the car on a Saturday with the other half, and driving for hours with no particular destination. Getting out when the mood strikes for a stroll or a pint. Talking about everything or just holding hands and listening to the radio. Not hearing "Are we there yet?" even once. I love my kids.
Sex. Enough said. I love my kids.
All that being said, I really really DO love my kids. I love going to T-Ball games, band concerts, 4-H and scouts. I love bedtime stories, burp contests and even homework time. I love having them smile when they see me in the school halls and watching their faces as they come down the stairs on Christmas morning. I love it all. I really do. But I could really go for nap. Followed by a long car ride before an early movie, then Happy Hour at a bar, and maybe later when we get home....
Non-animated, R-rated movies. Movies that don't involve super heroes, robots, or chimps in outer space. We're talking movies with dirty words, healthy doses of nudity, or the occasional axe-wielding lunatic with mother issues. I hear they still make these. I recently snuck off to a movie all by myself and saw I Love You, Man. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I not sure if I enjoyed it so much because it was a great movie, or because I didn't have to leave in the middle to take someone to the potty. I love my kids.
Happy Hour. That golden time between 4-6 p.m. when wings come 10 for a dollar and drinks come for a song. Now days, Happy Hour is from 10-11 p.m. when I do the ironing while drinking a beer and watching the early news. I love my kids.
A clean house. There was once a time when I could clean the house, leave, and come back to a house that was still clean. Now I usually do have a clean house--about once a month. For an hour. Then it starts creeping back in...socks between the sofa cushions...broken crayons...wrappers...goddamn Legos everywhere. A pox upon you, Ole Kirk Christiansen of Denmark, for inventing those foot bruising vacuum destroyers! I love my kids.
Naps. Laying down, alone or with the one you love, on a lazy Sunday afternoon and catching an hour or two's kip. If it's lightly raining outside, all the better. Only having a migraine will excuse a nap now. I think I feel one coming on. I love my kids.
Long car rides to nowhere. Just getting in the car on a Saturday with the other half, and driving for hours with no particular destination. Getting out when the mood strikes for a stroll or a pint. Talking about everything or just holding hands and listening to the radio. Not hearing "Are we there yet?" even once. I love my kids.
Sex. Enough said. I love my kids.
All that being said, I really really DO love my kids. I love going to T-Ball games, band concerts, 4-H and scouts. I love bedtime stories, burp contests and even homework time. I love having them smile when they see me in the school halls and watching their faces as they come down the stairs on Christmas morning. I love it all. I really do. But I could really go for nap. Followed by a long car ride before an early movie, then Happy Hour at a bar, and maybe later when we get home....
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