Welcome to Cold and Flu Season. If you should see me about town, avoid me like the plague. Oh, I’m perfectly healthy. But I work in a pre-K Petri dish. Sixteen kids in my class, and five called out sick today. Out of the remaining eleven, seven kept coughing and several were warm and/or sleepy. Which brings me to ask:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
If your kid’s warm ~ keep them home. If they blow bubbles out of their nose every time they sneeze ~ keep them home. If they bark like a seal when they cough ~ keep them home. If their eyes are so red they look like college freshmen after a two-day frat party ~ keep them home. If they’re as green and nauseated as you were in your first trimester carrying them ~ keep them home! There isn’t enough Purell in Pennsylvania to kill off what you folks are knowingly sending into school.
Sure, it’s nice to have three hours to yourself in the morning. I live for Fridays when I get the same. But come on! Surely you noticed the green mucus oozing from junior’s nose before you dropped him off and ran for the mall! It’s nice that some of you are teaching your tubercled tots to hack up into their elbows on occasion. But then stuffing snotty Kleenex into the play kitchen’s oven kind of undoes the deed.
Enough said. Hopefully people will get the hint. But I doubt it. So tomorrow, I invest sixteen of the world’s largest hamster balls. Gazundheit!