Saturday, October 31, 2009

Trick or Treat



I’m watching the kids carve pumpkins and get their costumes ready for trick-or-treating tonight, terribly excited about the pillow case full of sugar they’ll be divvying up. Bringing back a flood of memories of cheap plastic costumes in a box, with masks that cut your ears with their rubber band straps and eye/nose/mouth holes so small you could barely see/breathe/talk. I loved those crappy get ups! And as I watch the excitement build in their faces, one thought fills my mind…..Being a grown up sucks!

When I was a kid, all I could think about some times was how cool it was going to be when I was a grown up. I could finally stay up as late as I wanted. Nobody could force me to eat fried liver in order to go on a camping trip (yes, they actually did that once). I could have as many pets as I wanted. I could wear whatever I wanted, eat whatever I wanted, watch whatever I wanted on TV. It was going to be SWEET!

Then it came. The adulthood of my 20s. And for a while it was indeed dandy! I’d stay up til 3, drink like a fish, dress like I was in Miami Vice, and watch whatever I wanted on TV. And to hell with fried liver. Of course, my 20s meant some serious expenses coming my way. A car, an apartment, student loans. But I had cable, Letterman and didn’t have to panic when I got carded. So I was right! 20s adulthood was as sweet as milk chocolate.

Then came the adulthood of my 30s. Marriage and a few years later, motherhood. Adulthood was still sort of sweet. There were now two car payments, a bigger apartment and eventually a mortgage. And the lingering student loans. But I could still stay up as late as I wanted! Sure, I didn’t want to stay up past midnight anymore, but if I wanted to I could have! And still no liver! 30s adulthood was…semi-sweet chocolate.

Now I have a firm foothold into the adulthood of my 40s. Two kids. Both involved in lots of activities that cost mucho dinero. Medical bills for to sets of over-40 eyes, ears and joints. Mortgage, cars, insurance premiums, office equipment…and why the hell am I still paying student loans?! I do still stay up as long as I want, but unfortunately it’s now because of insomnia. I can eat what I want, as long as it’s preceded by Bean-O and immediately followed by Imodium or Tums. Of course now I’m slightly anemic so the doctor recommends I try eating some fried liver. Yes, the adulthood of the 40s…baker’s chocolate. Trick or Treat.

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