I Need a Fix!

Brown paper packages, tied up with strings...

Woke up this morning at 3 a.m. as usual. Normally would have reached over for the glowing iFriend I keep by the bed, to do a little tweeting with the West Coast or listen to music until the insomnia settled. But we let Evan take it to Camp Grandma this week, so I just had to toss for a while.

Woke up again at 7 and went to the office to do my usual "first things" routine. Check email. Check. Check weather. Check. Check Twitter. Hold up. Refresh. Check Twitter. Refresh. CHECK TWITTER! What the hell? Twitter is down. Has been for hours. No one knows why or for how much longer. Only way to get through the lack of morning Twitter updates is with a very large coffee. We're out of coffee! As I microwave what's left in the pot (from two days ago!), it occurs to me that I may have some issues.

Hello, my name is Suzanne and I may be an addict.
(This is where you all say, "Hello, Suzanne!")

I'm not addicted to cigarettes, drugs or alcohol. OK, stop laughing. I confess to liking things with the word "proof" on the label, but I'm not addicted to them. Stop laughing, I mean it! But there are several things that I have grown so attached or accustomed to that I actually feel the effects when they're removed from me.

Coffee...that's no surprise. No coffee = headaches.

Diet Coke...also no shocker. It's the after 11 a.m. equivalent of coffee.

Beer...I can get along fine without it, but I prefer not to, that's all!

Internet...This one I share with 90% of the population, so I don't feel as bad. I'll be in Puerto Rico in a couple of weeks, in a place sans access. Pathetic that I'm actually pre-mourning its absence.

iThing...since Christmas. They're indispensable. Just ask anyone who has one. Right Vince? Right Steve? Right Kara? These things become part of your fiber quicker than crack.

And now, apparently, Twitter...

Surely I'm not alone with my addictions. There have to be television, chocolate, cigarette, lottery, Krimpet addicts among you. So even if you think Tweeting is moronic (I know who you are), take pity on me should you see me twitching in the aisles of Acme later today, speaking only in sentences of 140 characters or less. Could be you someday, when the cable goes out.