Monday, April 5, 2010

Let Me See You Sweat

Tonight I felt like my heart was going to explode, I was on the verge of throwing up and my left inner thigh muscle was visibly twitching. No, I wasn't having a stroke. I've joined a gym. A friend excitedly told me these symptoms are all “very good things.” That's nice. I still put 911 on speed dial, just in case.

I haven't belonged all that long, but I've already noticed a couple of things about my gym, and I presume gyms in general. The clientele varies greatly depending on the time of day you go. Weekday mornings are the mom and seniors crowd. The pace is slower, the sweat flows a little lighter and there's plenty of available equipment. Lunchtime, when I'm usually able to go, is some of the same crowd, with die hard exercise nuts thrown in the mix. People who run in from work, sweat for a half hour, shower, and go back to work with wet hair. They scare me. They need a burger.

Tonight was the first time I joined the “just clocked out” crowd. There was a waiting list for some of the cardio equipment. Unfortunately, everything I needed was available. There were a lot of teenage girls working out together, all plugged into iPods. I was envious of that. Not the teenage part (I only long to be couldn't pay me to be a teen again), but the working out next to someone you know part. I could go for that. (I have three guest passes people, HINT!) And then there were the no-necks. The biggest men I have ever seen who weren't wearing an NFL uniform. So much grunting going on there on the weight floor that it sounded like they were filming porn. Or Andre Agassi was playing Pete Sampras.

Someday I hope to get to the point where I feel comfortable working out alongside the no-necked grunters. I'm sure they're a swell bunch of guys. But for now I think I'll stick to the mom and senior hours for a while. Yes, there's quite a bit of grunting there too. But it just me trying to get off the recumbent bike after my legs have jellied.

Treadmilling to "Trampoline" by Latch Key Kid...great music always helps!

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