Saturday, October 24, 2009

A Matter of Trust


It’s a fine line that’s very hard to walk, and constantly shifting. If you do it too quickly you can be burned. Sometimes badly. If you hold it back too long, you could ruin a potentially wonderful relationship.

I often give it too quickly. Sometimes it tak
es weeks, even months to realize I’ve made a mistake. I was too eager to please someone and ignored signs or signals. Or I was just blind-sided, bamboozled, hornswoggled. (I bet NONE of you typed those last two this week!). But sometimes the regret comes literally within minutes. A V-8 moment where you hit yourself upside the head and say “why the hell did I just share that about myself?”

Yesterday I had a V-8 moment. Someone I “kinda” “sorta” knew asked me for information on myself that I just too quickly shared. It seemed innocuous at the time. I mildly regretted it instantly, but held out hope that I was right in my knee jerk decision to share. Less than 24 hours later...bitten in the ass. Nothing major. I'm not the proud owner of a time share or a Nigerian bank account co-signatory. I just hate it when I have to tell MYSELF “I told you so.” I’ve given out my email too quickly. My social-networking site names. My age. I’ve never been dumb enough to give out my phone number. But it floats out there, like everyone else’s does. Someone found it. The same wonderful Internet that helps us spell hornswoggle and find free "classy" porn (not me...a friend) also reveals a lot of information about ourselves we may not want teenage nutcases to know. Fortunately my quick thrust trust mistakes only ever extend to myself. I don’t trust anyone with information I have about anyone else. And if anyone asks for it, the crimson flags immediately go up. Take note: INSTANTLY UP.

Of course, there are many times when my initial decision to quickly trust someone has been right on target. I’ve made many good friends through the years who I’ve been able to confide in completely on very personal issues. And I think I’ve earned their trust back. Like most folks, I have names, numbers and juicy tidbits in my head that lots of other people would love to have. And I can be trusted with them. Hopefully the people who've made the decision to trust me have never had a V-8 moment; or if they did, that they quickly got over it. I’m the full daily requirement of veggies, baby. Don’t doubt it.

I’ve also been on the other side of the fence. Where you’ve completely proven yourself trustworthy, but you still are met with a wall. It doesn’t matter if it’s the Great Wall of Distrust or just a picket fence of doubt; if you know it shouldn’t be there, it hurts. I guess that’s why I sometimes give away my trust just a little too freely. I know how it feels to give it, deserve it in return, and not get it completely back. So while I may get bitten in the ass on occasion, I’ve got a big enough ass that I can stand a few chomps if it means not having to build my own Great Wall. So to show you all how sincere I am, my Social Security number is 453-52-V8V8.

No comments: